Return from Oz…
In 8 short weeks I am about to leave my current life in techno-color and head back to the other side of the rainbow, back to black and white…back home.
Home for me and my husband is Seattle, the place inaccurately known for its daily rain and high suicide rate. Oz, for us, would be Los Angeles and after exactly three years of living right below the famous Hollywood sign my husband and I are loading up the U-haul to once more time make the trek back up the interstate 5; and while no wicked witches were killed and sadly no munchkins met, this girl is still clicking her heels three times while whispering “there’s no place like home!”
Some quick background: my husband (now) boyfriend (then) decided three years ago to move to LA because I was an actress and he is a writer and LA is where you go to pursue such things. Italics and bold was and is because currently I couldn’t tell you what I want to be, let alone who I am. All I know is that I am a 26 year old female who is about as certain to what her future holds as the Mariners are about their 2011 season! My husband however is still actively pursuing his writing career, still actively using that 100,000 dollar education we both received!
I’m the one who is abandoning the life plan and the ironic thing is- I love plan, I MADE the plan! Before we moved to LA, it was me who was always so confident and full of plans; ask anyone who knew me pre-LA and I would have seemed so sure of myself, so determined in my career choice, but here’s the thing you can’t possibly know when you’re 23…YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT!
That’s why I decided to write this blog, I’ve had enough conversations with women my age and older to know that nobody can prepare you for the reality that is your life. Plans change, desires change and most importantly people change.
So my hope in leaving OZ (besides it being nothing like the scary, scary movie) is maybe being surrounded by the familiar will jog my memory about that confident (albeit naïve) girl who was so sure of herself before she saw the world in color! I hope to share some stories, hear some stories and overall get this shit out of my head while ultimately asking the question…I’m supposed to being doing what???
OH yes I am very familiar with what you speak of. In your early 20's (I'm now in my early 30's), you think you have it. You make a determined plan for your self think that is all there is to it. Then you hit your mid 20's and you start to rethink your plan because of either certain goals not being made or just changes within yourself and/or people you are surrounded etc.
ReplyDeleteIt starts to get easier as you get older. Trying to figure stuff out too far in advance seems to be a waste. It's great to dream but knowing that "shit happens" and plans change is a part of life. If we were able to live the picture perfect life, we would be truly happy? There would be nothing more to really aspire for since everything would be "perfect".
I wish you the best with your journeys of the slightly unknown. Will miss you both and olive at the dog park but I know for this time in your lives it's the best choice for you.